“If I Could Be Serious For A Minute”
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Unless you’ve lived under a rock for the past month or so, the world is currently gripped by unparalleled and uncertain times caused by the Corona Virus. Here in the UK, we are currently adjusting to life under lock down – meaning no school. Only working if you’re deemed to be a key worker. People are now working from home. Socialising is out of the question. Football and Rugby seasons are currently suspended. Wimbledon is cancelled. Non-essential shops are closed. Grocery items are limited (I still cannot get hand sanitiser damn it!). There seems to be a shortage of toilet paper, pasta, flour and rice. People are having to self-isolate for up to 14 days if they or anyone they live with develop any symptoms. We must remain 2 meters apart as part of social distancing. And perhaps most seriously of all Pubs, Maccies and KFC are closed (Sarcasm). The news is dominated with Corona related stories, TV Schedules are impacted, and over our head looms the threat of stricter rules being enforced if people don’t stop being idiots and breaking the existing rules… I’m sure this is the case where you are too.
Given the gravity of the situation, this edition of Grappuchino Thoughts will attempt to be a little more serious. It may also be longer than I usually go for. So, use this time now to go grab your favourite drink, maybe a snack if you so wish, sit back and settle in for Todays’ Grappuchino Thoughts….
Back with your favourite drink in hand? Did you grab a snack? Are you comfy? Good. Now I can add the following disclaimer: any attempt I may make at being light-hearted or slightly funny (like that happens!), or wander off into a daydream or even by being my usual sarcastic self does not mean that I am not taking this situation seriously or not following advice. It is purely my attempt to remain positive in a situation that has already made my anxiety spike on several occasions and I have felt my mood dip into a darker place a few times. I guess that this, along with being creative, is my way of coping.
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We are currently a few days away from, what would be under normal circumstances, the most exciting event of a wrestling fans’ calendar. Think Christmas Eve, mixed with the Superbowl, with a dash of a World Cup Final, a tablespoon of Christmas day eating and drinking sessions, and a drop of pomp and circumstance and you have it: Wrestlemania Weekend. In normal circumstances, I’d be planning what order I will watch things to keep them as spoiler free as possible (Probably NXT Takeover first, coz, NXT For Life and all that); planning what I’d be baking to eat whilst I watch things (chocolate free, as I’ve given that up for lent); then making said things; planning quick-cook meals to ensure maximum viewing time; and deciding if it’s worth watching the Pre Show matches. This year would have also included watching the Hall of Fame ceremony… so that would have meant extra planning and consumption of snacks and baked goods, with extra on standby to potentially console myself over the outfit choices of an inductee and how he’s gone too far with tattoos… Clears throat and refocuses… WWE would bombard us with how many days were left before Wrestlemania – via social media, advertisements both within WWE Programming and in the form of external advertisements and from superstars themselves. I’d also be seeing social media updates from friends and wrestlers who were in the Tampa area, engaging in the activities that surround Wrestlemania Week. Not that I would be jealous… at all.
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Instead, the promotion of Wrestlemania 36 seems to be scaled back. We no longer have the Hall of Fame ceremony. NXT: Takeover has been cancelled. Access Week events have also been cancelled. The only time I have seen adverts for Wrestlemania is via social media and WWE Programming, and even then, they feel… different, their tone eerily sombre. There are no posts appearing on my social media feeds from friends bragging about getting ready to go to the airport, the standard airport check in (Because if you don’t put it on social media, were you even at the airport?), the update of a safe landing and, of course, the pictures that would have flooded my news feed. You know the ones, the ones where someone has met their crush / childhood hero / inspiration / absolute favourite wrestler / ring from the first ever Hell in a Cell match / statue of Ric Flair (delete as appropriate), accompanied with some mushy caption. Let’s be honest, most of us are guilty of doing this, and I’m one of the worst offenders… but that’s what we do. We love wrestling so much that we must share our excitement / brag (again, delete as appropriate) with those who understand. All the while we’re telling ourselves that we’re not at all jealous and make pipe dreams of one day going to Mania and being involved in the events, then eventually meeting, running away and living happily ever after with a certain individual, in a house with co-ordinating blue and white cars, swapping one every year to represent the current Everton Goalie kit, surrounded by lots of dogs… Shit. Sorry, I got carried away there. Let’s refocus.
Pipe Dreams and humour aside, us wrestling fans saw the writing on the wall for Wrestlemania 36 at the beginning of March. When I appeared on the Wrestling With Johners Podcast on 14th March 2020 (episode 111, if you’ve not listened to it, what’s wrong with you? Finish this article then go check it out!), I stated “… Common sense needs to prevail. And I think they (WWE)… needs to cancel it… as in the big stadium… If you cancel it now, you still have time to put something in place… It’s only a matter of time.” Two days later, it was announced that Wrestlemania 36 would take place, but it would not be performed in front of an audience. And for once, I wished that I was wrong. Heartbreakingly, thousands of fans have had their trip to Wrestlemania taken away from them – through no fault of their own or WWE. This, I assume, was their dream holiday, that has been painstakingly saved, longed, planned and budgeted for. For some, this may have been their first big Wrestling event. Their first Wrestlemania. Their first NXT Takeover. Excitement would be building within them, participating in the above mocked activities (lovingly, of course) and maybe taking some time to relax and unwind before the big event. I know they’ll be sitting at home this weekend thinking “I should be there now…”. Genuinely, my heart sinks at this thought and even I get upset about it and I wasn’t thinking about, let alone guaranteed to be going. The event of Wrestlemania 36 itself has been impacted by the Corona Virus. It is now split over two nights and will be performed without an audience. Now, seeing a wrestling show without an audience is weird. The silence is the oddest part of it. We have seen that WWE can put on shows without audiences. Before Corona, there was the Raw that defied the Snow in 2015 and there was the Rock vs Mick Foley at Halftime Heat in 1999. In addition, over recent weeks, we have been exposed to shows being made at the Performance Centre without an audience. Although jarring at first, I find that it goes out of my mind after the first 20 minutes and I focus more on what’s going on in the ring. Wrestlemania 36 will be the second event in history to be broadcast from different locations. At the time of writing, these are undisclosed, but it certainly makes for interesting viewing. Is also worth noting that Wrestlemania 36 will be the first time since 2007 that Triple H has not been involved in a match. Another interesting fact is that match names have also been affected. For example, the Boneyard Match between AJ Styles and The Undertaker was originally planned to be a Buried Alive Match. Given the morbidity of the match, the decision was made to make it a Boneyard Match and could possibly be the reason why we now have the American Badass Undertaker… Just when things couldn’t get any worse. It is also one of the only Wrestlemania’s that I can recall that was not broadcast live. I think the other one is Wrestlemania 2 – please correct me if I’m wrong.
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The Wrestlemania 36 Card itself has also been deeply affected. And with good reasons. Several top name talents have either pulled out of Wrestlemania completely (see Roman Reigns, Rey Mysterio, Dana Brooke, The Miz and Murphy) or will not compete after Wrestlemania (see Daniel Bryan). Reasons range from illness (The Miz was showing flu-like symptoms, according to reports) to the talent having underlying autoimmune issues. Most people listed have pretty much been left alone, their decision to self-isolate respected. But, just in case you were unaware, and be careful, because SPOILER ALERT… both Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns have gone into self-isolation. Roman pulled out of the Wrestlemania card completely, whilst Bryan has reportedly wrestled for Mania, but has now started his isolation process. Both have underlying health conditions – Bryan is said to have some sort of autoimmune disease since a child, and Reigns has battled Leukaemia twice. Both have young families at home. Despite being in remission, Reigns has decided that it was too much of a risk to continue to wrestle at this moment in time. For Bryan, the stakes are slightly higher as his wife Brie and sister in law Nikki are both pregnant, making them equally vulnerable too. However, it is the response from some individuals to the latter that has pissed me off and made me ashamed to be associated with them. Fan reaction to Bryan not being active after Wrestlemania has been met with the usual people who say “good”, to using this situation to take shots at his wife. This is tame in comparison to Reigns.
Since the announcement of Reigns being out of his match against Goldberg, I have read several comments from so called fans that range in their vulgarity. Tame ones include statements like “I hope this is true” to “Finally some good news”. Others… and I’m trying to be very restrained here… have called this a “blessing”, to “Cancer has saved Wrestlemania.”. I’m sure that if you look you will find worse. To anyone who experiences any joy, entertainment or amusement from those comments go and stand in front of a mirror and think about the people who raised you. Ask yourself, have I just made them proud? No. You have not. I ain’t angry at you. But, I’m disappointed in you. Irrespective of how you feel about the characters of Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns, how they’re booked and what position they’re in on the card, actively praising the fact that they have had to step away from their profession for the sake of their health is deplorable. I refuse to be associated with individuals that think that the above comments are acceptable. Granted, you will always get Knob ‘eds in every fan base, but this is unacceptable. I hope that the amount of positivity I’ve seen outweighs this negativity, reminding Bryan and Reigns why they love what they do, and gives them reasons to return when it is safe to do so. Moreover, I hope that the non-wrestling fans remember that not all of us are the aforementioned Knob ‘eds.
The impact of current events is not WWE Exclusive. Hotels in the Tampa area will have lost revenue. As will restaurants and shops. Small, independent businesses will also be affected. Impact Wrestling has cancelled shows, meaning they will lose revenue. AEW could also be in jeopardy, once more due to potential lost revenue. I alluded to this in the Podcast – Independent Wrestlers have lost their source of income. This cannot be forgotten. I read somewhere that one wrestler was set to make more on Wrestlemania weekend then the rest of the year combined. Given that various other promotions had no choice but to cancel their events that coincided with Wrestlemania, this simply will not happen. And, given the uncertainty surrounding the current situation, we don’t know when independent promotions can start running shows again. This means that independent wrestlers are effectively in a state of limbo. They have little choice, like the rest of us, but to sit at home and wait for things to get back to normal… whatever that will be after this. We also don’t know when fans can return to wrestling shows. There’s talk of making Summerslam the biggest party in WWE’s calendar for 2020, but that’s on the 23rd August. This week, the UK was warned things may not return to normal for 6 months – that’s the end of September, and casts an element of doubt towards Summerslam. That’s if the USA follows a similar path to us in the UK. Currently (April 2nd, 2020) America has the most confirmed cases of Corona Virus (according to the BBC News Website), casting more doubt on the plans for Summerslam.
Now that I’ve depressed and potentially offended you, it’s important to note that we do have some positives. At the time of writing we have still had weekly wrestling programmes to help provide a distraction and to help give a little bit of normality throughout. Whilst the presentation may be altered – for example Triple H on commentary and the previously mentioned empty seats, it is still one consistent in a time of inconsistency. Whilst WWE have stated that they are taking every step to monitor talent who are still performing, I just want to take a moment to extend my gratitude to those who have been involved in producing and performing on weekly shows. Currently, the world is a scary enough place and being able to take comfort in something I love has been beyond comforting. It has also been a life saver in terms of my sanity. To add in an element of negativity here, if you believe WrestleVotes Twitter Account, it seems like this stream of fresh wrestling from WWE and AEW could be coming to an end – at least during April, due to a stay at home order… I have heard that AEW have secured an undisclosed location to film Dynamite episodes and there are now rumours that WWE could take a break from new episodes. A first for the company, and potentially a well-deserved break for the talent. They are usually spot on with things like this, so I guess I’m helping to brace you for bad news.
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Returning to the positives, shifting over to AEW for a moment, I hope I’m not the only one that is taking enjoyment out of the roster acting as the audience? I don’t know if it’s genuine joy or they’re genuinely happy to act as fans for once that comes through from them. It’s been a genuine delight to see them do this and I would like to see this continue if possible – social distancing measures permitting.
With WWE, it’s important to remember thate do have a first – Wrestlemania will be split over two nights. Now, if we were to entertain the pedantic part of my brain, it could be argued that this happens already, with NXT Takeover being the far superior show… In my humble opinion. Don’t get me wrong, I am gutted that Takeover isn’t happening in a true Takeover sense. However, we do have the content being provided for us in NXT’s usual slot, so all is not lost. Another advantage is according to reports, there is also a 1 hour preshow on both nights – reducing the time by half! There is also the bonus that splitting the show over two nights could pave the way for WWE to follow NJPW who split Wrestlekingdom 14 over 2 nights too. If a successful venture, this may help to eliminate one of my main gripes with WWE Pay Per Views as it could mean a shorter run time and improved content. I have previously suggested that Wrestlemania should be split into 3 parts – with RAW, SmackDown! and NXT getting their own separate, and shorter show. We also must applaud the minds in the PR and Marketing Departments of WWE – I’ll give it to them; they’re setting the example and trying to find the positives in a bad situation. I don’t know about you, but I want one of the “I Wasn’t There” t-shirts. Because, sarcasm… that and I like to brag about things like that!
I guess the point of this Grappuchino Thoughts was to attempt to make sense of this crazy situation and to spread my gratitude to those wrestlers who have worked for WWE and AEW. It was also my futile attempt to spread some positivity when all we are seemingly getting are messages of doom and gloom. I guess that this is also my platform to remind people to stay inside (there is SO much Graps you could be watching!). Don’t stockpile (it’s not big and it’s not clever). Stop touching your face (trust me, your skin will thank you and so will your hands). Wash your hands - for at least 20 seconds. Be mindful – check in with yourself regularly: its ok to be worried or down during this turbulent time. Also check in with others too – but remember to social distance. Be kind – behave like me Bezzie Trent and Tyler or yer Ma is watching you; and make them proud. Its ok to wear wrestling related apparel for both day and night-time (over stretched t-shirts are boss for sleeping in). Finally, remember that we all need each other – even though we are physically distanced, we need to make the most of how connected technology, and wrestling, truly makes us.
(FYI: To help with your handwashing, 20 seconds is the length of the opening credits of Botchamania or the duration of the following extracts of these theme Songs:
• “Is it my eyes, when you look at me…” to “…Super good looking, every hair in place…” of Tyler Breezes’ Theme.
• “You are beautiful on the inside…” to “…I am Cold…” of Judas by Fozzy.
• “…I’m not going to listen to anybody…” to “…Our time is Time…” of HHHs’ My Time (Sing it originally or like Edge and Christian, I won’t judge!).
• “…I think I’m cute…” to “…I’m not your boy toy…” in Shawn Michaels Sexy Boy theme (The first one sung by Shawn)
• “…Wolfpac is back causing mass destruction…” to the bit just before the “…Don’t turn your back on the Wolfpac…” starts of the NWO Wolfpac Theme.
• “Viva La Raza…” to the line “…Siempre recojiendo mas mujeres por que soy latino…” or, for non-speakers of Spanish, it’s the Spanish bit just after “…One woman is not enough for me, amigo” in Eddie Gurrereo’s 9th theme (Championship edition)
• “…When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside…” to “…I gotta be a man, I can’t let it slide …” of Hulk Hogan’s Real American Theme.
• The first “American Males…” to “…Girls you don’t need a weekend lover…” of the American Males Theme.
• The entire first play through of the Guitar in the Four Horsemen Theme.
• “I am the fallen angel…” to “…Once full of a radiant glow, now a dark light…” of Christopher Daniels 2008 theme by the band Tricky.
• “…they say he couldn’t do it…” to “…We about the TNA, we about to change the game…” of AJ Styles Get Ready to Fly (this was hard and could be wrong, I had to figure it out by ear!).
• “Word life…” to “I’m untouchable, but I’m forcing you to feel me” of John Cena’s’ Basic Thugenomics (this is a little bit longer, but it was logical to stop at the end of the sentence).
• “Oh, you didn’t know?” to the “Oh Hell yeah” of Road Doggs’ Oh You Didn’t Know? theme
• “…I love to love ‘em…” to the second “… Yeah, coz I’m an ass man…” in Billy Gunn’s Theme. (Mr Smith BEGGED for this to be included).
• “No man is ever truly good…” to the second “…No man is ever truly evil…” of Alistair Blacks theme - Root of All Evil.
• “You could have a steam train…” to “…If you bring your blue sky back…” of Peter Gabriel’s’ Sledgehammer (AKA the inspiration behind Tyler Bate’s WWE Themes).
• “He’s a Man…” to the second “He’s a real mans’ man…” of William Regals’ first WWE Theme.
• “No chance, that’s what you’ve got…” to “…but tie a string around your finger now…” Vince McMahons’ No Chance in Hell theme.
• “Shock the system” to the first “Boom” in the Undisputed Era’s theme.
• “I’m on my own…” to “…I never needed you at all. Think I will fall down…” of Bianca Belairs’ Watch Me Shine Theme. Don’t say I don’t do nothing for you’s… I now have to go to bed with a mash up of these stuck in my head.